The forlorne sausage refers to a breakfast meat from a bygone era; the last, and sole, remaining item of the 1970s diet that no one would really choose to eat but which people keep buying out of habit. These days, the Great British Breakfast (the menu item, not the oft forgotten TV reality show in which 12 amateur breakfasters battled it out with bespoke sausages, eggs and beans out for a greasy handshake from an east end greasy spoontanteur while Chris Evans and Gabby Logan flirt badly with giant mugs of tea that are secretly laced with booze) has transformed. In 21st Century Britain, you can’t enter a greasy spoon cafe and be guaranteed to be greeted by a giant plate with sausages, bacon, eggs, beans, mushrooms, toast, yorkshire puddings, gravy, peas, mustard sauce, horseradish, donkey bits and chips (and the trimmings). These days, breakfast goers are far more delicate with their tastes. Millenials admire the simplicity of smashed avocado on toast, while Gen Z prefer avocado and eggs on sourdough - the list is endless. But they are a healthier bunch these days, much more obsessed with their TikToks and displaying their waistlines in the mirror at gyms than enjoying the much lauded and healthy pig lard diet that Britain won WW2 with and did us no problems thank you.
Specifically, the square shaped sausage, created in honour of the oblong shaped Pigs from which the meat is procured, would be cooked on each of its 6 faces once at a time, before being sliced proudly at the head of the table (if served at home) or simply a bell would be rung in a cafe to raise attention for punters, who would turn as slices performatively chiseled by a local mayor or executioner before quickly being whisked off backstage to be served on a napkin and sideplate.
