Fleecetious

Describing fleeces in a nonchalant or flippant manner.

But what is a fleece? Maybe we should start there. A fleece is a garment made from polar fleece, which results in a jacket or top that is soft, light and can be washed easily. That sounds right. They can be 3 colours, although more colours are planned (red, navy and pink will soon be joined by light navy and rouge).

Fleeces of course, are best remembered as a lover’s gift. In many cultures it is considered good fortune to receive an embroidered fleece with your initials on the front and the initials of your lover on the arm. As such they are a classic valentine’s day gift and, I believe, fleece is the traditional material used to celebrate the 11th Wedding Anniversary. Contrary to common belief, you can make anything out of fleece - clocks, mugs, t-shirts, and even the American snack candy ‘Reece’s Pieces’ - with almost no downside (except for the suitability of the material for the job at hand).¹

The most famous fleece was the golden fleece we all know from Greek Mythology, which was awarded to the first-placed shepherd who raised the sheep or goat with the best coat. The judges, who would sit behind a sparkly sequinned table, would rate each creature on coat length, glossiness, colour, bounce, musicality and movement, as well as general star quality and stench. The event became essential attendance on a Saturday night, as the judges would grill the competing shepherd with wit and venom, while a supporting greek chorus behind sustained tension, creating a compelling piece of theatre. The judges themselves grew in notoriety and soon became the reason to attend, with the flamboyance of one, Hippocrates, leading to his own epic poem, depictions of which were sold on remarkable pottery across their civilisation.

The eventual winner was decided by an audience ballot, often against the judges’ recommendations and even venerating ill or improper livestock. Once, as written by Homer - one of the great Simpsons of his day - the audience mockingly chose to award the prize to a wolf in a sheep’s coat. The audience howled with laughter when he was revealed as the winner, which upset the beast and unfortunately 7 people were maimed to death, but the joke is still considered to be the first successful piece of satire.