When you buy something by mistake through the smudgy movements of your bottom against your mobile phone.
Obviously, this word derives from the practice of butt-dialling, which for those born after 2005 is distinctly different to a booty call. Back in the day, you might get a phone call from a stranger, or even a loved one, and then hear only the muffled background sounds of someone sat watching the telly. The cause? Somehow, the buttons on their phone had been sat on in such a specific way that you had picked up a call that they didn’t intend to make. You’d try to tell the caller that you’ve been called erroneous, but due to limitations of the bottom’s aural capacity, they would not hear you. And so, queueing for a cashier in a Happy Shopper as you inevitably were, you’d end up screaming down the phone to make up that extra foot or two of distance needed so that the sound of your dismay might have been heard from their phone lodged in a back pocket. And then, they’d have the audacity to ask you why you were calling them. And you would have to provide a grovelling apology, while the cashier sorted your extensive change from a tenner for a large weekly shop.
Of course, the tactic took on a new meta when people who you otherwise wouldn’t answer a phone call from would attempt this technique in order to elicit a conversation with you with a casual “oh, as you are on a call with me, would you like double glazing?” or some such turn of phrase. Whether a crook, or simply a scorned lover, the technique was dynamite for at least starting up a conversation. Like flint to a fire.
Now, with modern technology, the phone can do so much more than just call people - and so too can the mighty bottom. A whole host of new activities has become available, requiring its own lexicon of terms:
- butt-post - send a postcard, by mistake with your butt
- butt-bought - buy an item on a website, by mistake with your butt
- butt-bid - bid for an item on ebay, by mistake with your butt
- butt-swiped - reject or accept a potential mate on a dating app, by mistake with your butt
- butt-tweet - update a social media account, by mistake with your butt
- butt-err - to write a draft on a messaging service but not send it forcing the recipient to see you writing a draft but never sending the message, by mistake with your butt
- butt-shame - to completely slam someone online for any subjective choice or activity, by mistake with your butt
- butt-selfie - to take a staged photo of yourself, by mistake with your butt
- butt-propose - ask a potential spouse to be your spouse, by mistake with your butt
- butt-blog - publish a diary entry online, by mistake with your butt
- butt-watch - log-in and watch a video on youtube, by mistake with your butt
- butt-scroll - depressingly waste away your time allowing an algorithm to determine what vaguely entertaining content enters your mind, by mistake with your butt
- butt-netflix-and-butt-chill - hanging out with a sexual interest under the pretence of watching a film on streaming service only to inevitably shag, by mistake with your butt
- butt-zoom - meet colleagues online for a video meeting, by mistake with your butt
However, as indicated above, there is a distinction between a butt dial and a booty call - and that comes down to intention. Therefore, we also propose the following new additional definitions:
- booty-mail - send a postcard, with the intention of inviting a sexy friend over
- booty-spend - buy an item on a website, with the intention of inviting a sexy friend over
- booty-offer - bid for an item on ebay, with the intention of inviting a sexy friend over
- booty-stroke - reject or accept a potential mate on a dating app, with the intention of inviting a sexy friend over
- booty-x - update a social media account, with the intention of inviting a sexy friend over
- booty-erine - to write a draft on a messaging service but not send it forcing the recipient to see you writing a draft but never sending the message, with the intention of inviting a sexy friend over
- booty-neg - to completely slam someone online for any subjective choice or activity, with the intention of inviting a sexy friend over
- booty-pic - to take a staged photo of yourself, with the intention of inviting a sexy friend over
- booty-offer - ask a potential spouse to be your spouse, with the intention of inviting a sexy friend over
- booty-journal - publish a diary entry online, with the intention of inviting a sexy friend over
- butt-vid - log-in and watch a video on youtube, with the intention of inviting a sexy friend over
- booty-melt - depressingly waste away your time allowing an algorithm to determine what vaguely entertaining content enters your mind, with the intention of inviting a sexy friend over
- booty-hulu-and-booty-hang - hanging out with a sexual interest under the pretence of watching a film on a streaming service only to inevitably shag, with the intention of inviting a sexy friend over
- booty-skype - meet colleagues online for a video meeting, with the intention of inviting a sexy friend over
This is very much an issue local to the UK - in America they use the term ‘fanny buzz’ for both instances.
